Accountability

Saturday, January 21 & Sunday, January 22, 2012

Saturday I took the day for myself. It had been entirely too long since I'd had a haircut and my niece offered to watch the girls, so I took the afternoon off.

I went for a haircut (where they do a wonderful, stress-relieving neck massage), took my book to Moe's for a quiet lunch (although I ended-up in a booth right next to a family with three, small children), headed to the gym for a quick run (which wasn't too smart after the burrito), and found a carwash that was open in the twenty-degree weather (I had to get the salt rinsed off my windshield.)

It was so nice! I was relaxed. I had taken some time for me. I felt good...so good that I REALLY wanted to stop at the nail salon and finish my afternoon of pampering off with a Mani Pedi. Last year I got into a pretty regular routine of getting a monthly Mani Pedi, so under these circumstances I would have just whipped my car right into the parking lot and hopped up in the massage chair at the pedicure bowl.

I was justifying spending around $60 a month because in my mind I deserved it.

I DESERVED a little time to myself. Right?

Well sure. All mothers are deserving of a little recognition, pampering, ‘me’ time. But that doesn’t mean we’re entitled to it. What I wasn’t factoring into the equation was that I didn’t have the resources to maintain this level of self-recognition.

I was mistaking being ‘deserving’ with being ‘entitled.’

Dictionary.com defines Deserving as qualified for a reward, assistance, etc., because of one's actions, qualities, or situation. The deserving poor.

Entitled is defined as to give (a person or thing) a title, right, or claim to something; furnish with grounds for laying claim: His executive position entitled him to certain courtesies rarely accorded others.

These two definitions are extremely similar except for one key word (qualified.)

Deserving means you’re qualified for something, it doesn’t mean you’re going to get it though. It just means you’re qualified.

Of course as the mom of two teenagers, a toddler and twins I’m qualified for some pampering. But it doesn’t entitle me to anything.

On Saturday I drove right past the nail salon, a little bumped, and I drove home! And I'm thankful for this blog, because it's helping me hold myself accountable! Because in the back of my mind, I thought 'I'm going to have to blog about this, and I can't justify spending another sixty dollars today.'

This is a hard pill to swallow, and I can’t say I’ve completely mastered this concept. But I am happy to report that I have not paid someone to paint my nails since October 9, 2011. Instead, I came home and had a Mani Pedi party with Bianca. She loves her pink, glitter nails!