Have you Ever Driven Down a Goat Path?

To say ‘It’s been a while since I’ve blogged’ would be a vast understatement.

And I could come up with a million excuses – like the fact that I have five kids, three jobs and one crazy life – but isn’t that what I’m suppose to be blogging about in the first place? So all of my excuses are nothing more than hogwash.

I just adore the phrase hogwash. It’s one of those country expressions my husband is famous for – like she’s running her suck or I’m so hungry I could eat the ass-end out of a cow – that when first heard are seriously disturbing. I mean, who wants to envision herself eating a cow’s rear-end? (I obviously know that’s exactly what I do, but I like to imagine it as a nice filet at Morton’s as opposed to furry, swarming with flies, and still attached to the animal out in the pasture.)

But the more I’ve been exposed to these colorful geniuses of description, the more I find myself using these phrases.

Chuck used to say, “What do you mean, you’ve never heard of a goat path?” And I would say, “What do YOU mean, you use the phrase goat path?” (In case you’re like me and from a highly civilized part of the world – like the metropolitan mecca of Paducah, Kentucky – where the phrase goat path isn’t commonly used –a goat path is how my husband (and he swears other people) describe a bumpy road.)

And while I may not have heard it – EVER – in my entire life until I met my husband, it is now one of my favorite things to say. So, the next time you’re driving down the interstate and you think you might blow a tire after careening into a pothole, just try saying, “This damn road needs to be paved. I might as well be driving on a goat path.” (I promise, you can’t harbor feelings of hatred and ill will for the road department and use the phrase goat path at the same time. It’s humanly impossible.)

Well, it appears I’ve been running my suck (which is a phrase I still can’t get behind under normal circumstances, but seemed applicable here since I’ve been mindlessly rambling about my husband’s personal dictionary of slang), so I’ll get back on point – I have dropped the blogging ball. (Now, there’s a phrase I can get behind.)

And excuses – in all aspects of our lives – are just our way of justifying our actions. So instead of saying, I’ve been so busy with work and my kids that I haven’t had time to write, I’m going to be honest with myself and say, I’ve made a conscious decision to put blogging on the backburner this month because I’ve decided to focus on my photography and spend some quality time with my family. And at midnight – when most writers sit down to their computers to get their writing in for the day – I’d much rather collapse into my nice, warm bed and fall into a coma-like sleep for a few hours.

So here are some highlights from the month that are on my To-Blog About List that I keep telling myself I’m going to get to – as soon as Day Light Savings time finds a way to add an actual extra hour to the day.

 

The Five Stages of Becoming a Stage Mom – My attempt to force Bianca to enjoy her preschool program

Let’s Go Fly a Kite –Why you should read the safety guide that comes with your canopy tent

S’mores Safety – Smokey says, Only Smart People can prevent Backyard Fires